Social Media in our Tech Savvy World

So this week, I have been having conversations with different friends about social media.  My mother, bless her, has a hard time fathoming how dating can start from social media.  Things like Facebook are a good thing, but do they handicap relationships.  With Facebook, you can message someone and gauge their interest.  Some men have a hard time taking it to the next time.  If you are like me, and call me old-fashioned, but I like a good phone call, or in this modern time, a good face time face time then how in the world do you transition from internet messaging to that?

Well, you have to create the environment to transition from messaging to conversation.  One trap that could southern ladies, like yourself, can fall into is developing an emotional relationship, when there is no interest on the other side.  There might have been initially, but just purely a typing relationship is not the same as a real relationship.  So we are going to fix that!

#1 Switch the interface from social media to personal.
-Social media is easy to get started in a non-threatening manner.
-If you hit it off with a man, then maybe try to be creative and use that southern charm to give him your number.

If you are like me, then this can sometimes be hard to do.  Giving out my number seems like I am being too forward!  Ladies, let me let you in on a little secret, it is not.  We are different from men, and they do not think in the crazy ways that we do.  After all,

Gently, slip him a message that might say you are a bit old-fashioned and do not keep up with social media as much, but hope to do something soon, including your number!

FYI: I have not used this method yet, but I have encouraged some of my friends too.  We will see how it plays out in reality.

Remember, use the tools that you have been given, but remember to relationships are RELATIONAL, which requires communication.  The best form of communication is talking face-to-face.  Any other ideas, feel free to email me.   Until next time...

BYE Y'ALL!
Jacksonian Magnolia

Well, Hello World!

     So I was thinking the other day about how I had not been on this site in forever.  Looking back, it has been three years.  When we started this blog, my friend and I were sharing stories about the dating realm.  Since this time, my cohort has met the one! Yay!  On the other hand, I have not quite found Mr. Right yet.  I decided that I wanted to write some of my thoughts on the dating world that the 20- or 30-something lady faces especially in a place like Jackson, MS!

     If those of you know who I am, please keep that our little secret! ;)  I am not one who normally puts it all out there for everyone.  I do have too many humorous stories that are definitely worthy sharing.  Today, I am going to talk about some tips that I learned from the book, Get the Guy, by Matthew Hussey.

 I like to call him the real-life Hitch!  For those of you out there like me who love that movie!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=50YQeugOMOw

Although, I do not agree with all of his philosophies, after all, we are SOUTHERN BELLES, he has some good points.   Here is his formula for attraction:

Deep and Lasting Attraction = Visual Chemistry + Perceived Challenge + 
                                                           Perceived Value +  Connection

He spends a lot of time talking about eye contact and smiling at everyone you meet.  Recently, I decided to try the smile method out.  Y'all, it works!  On my way into work, I smiled at everyone, and I definitely got some return smiles from men.  You need to smile at everyone, not just men!  Rule of being a southern belle: we are always supposed to be hospitable to everyone and make them feel welcome.   Matthew also talks about the long, but not too long, eye contact.  I tried that out the other week, and my friend said that guy is checking you out.  I got too nervous to go from there, but as I say, it is baby steps!

I know that some of you might think this is quite humorous, the whole dating strategies.  For you married folks, I am so glad whatever method happened to find you true love.  I know that there is no perfect formula, but it is always fun to try out.  I promise that I will not describe any dates or past relationships to make them obvious to the ordinary reader.  I just wanted to provide myself and some friends with a bit of entertainment.  Until next time,
                     
                                                                                    BYE Y'ALL!!
                                                   Jacksonian Magnolia

Feel free to email me at jacksonianmagnolias@gmail.com.  Warning: it might take me a while to respond. :)

The Good Ole Days are not the answer....

For our few followers, you may not realize this but this blog actually has 3 authors (and we should probably do a little post one day telling you a little bit about our somewhat anonymous selves...)

But, one of our authors is about to become a full fledged doctor tomorrow. This is big news, exciting news....something to celebrate (and we will) But, this got me thinking that female physicians, lawyers, business owners, pharmicists, etc are certainly not uncommon these days, but sometimes we have to undergo a lot of criticism here in the South.

Society, and even the church, seemed threatened by smart women. There is an assumption that a diploma and a job means we will disrespect and dishonor our husbands.  I've never understood how this is so. Biblical roles in marriage only apply to marriage. So, the fact that I may be in a higher position at work than some random male employee does not mean I plan on ruling my future home.  Likewise, I don't think men in submissive work roles will fail to be leaders in their home.

That being said (side rant over...), I am extremely proud of my co-author...she is very smart, yet very feminine. Its a hard line to toe sometimes, especially in the deep south.  And, the fact that she pursued higher education while still being a southern belle makes me even happier. I love that people like her are examples that can change our society's views.

I also wanted to share this article - in response to a societal (and Christian) push to return to the glory days where women's only role is to serve men and wear aprons, the author states:

While radical feminism has certainly wrought damage to souls across the culture, the correct response is not a return to the good ol’ days of subservience and sexualization.

This article made me proud of churches who say yes, feminism is wrong, but a strong godly female is not.

Congrats to our author!! May this weekend be a great celebration and may you continue to be a strong godly female!

Surviving Hot Jackson Summers - Part 2

Today we continue with our look into Jackson summer activities.  As Jackson natives, we love our city, but we are very aware how hot the summers can be....and long.  So many people don't have the luxury of many weeklong/monthlong/summerlong vacays to the coast, so we wanted to examine ways to enjoy the summer and maybe beat the heat in Mississippi! 

Today's suggestion:

3. Trendy Fro Yo

I love frozen desserts, but sometimes ice cream seems too heavy. Frozen Yogart is light (and sometimes healthy, though don't be fooled - its still full of calories when you top it in candy!) and refreshing.  And, apparently, to my delight, it is very trendy right now!! So rarely is what I like the cool thing to do...

Jackson is full of several fun Fro Yo shops....the kind you can self serve and pick your toppings and then have your cup weighed to pay by the ounce.

Want to spice up a boring Tuesday night or need a low key Saturday treat after shopping? Try one of these fun places:

Millie D's

Sweet Tree

Sweet CeCe's

Surviving Hot Jackson Summers...

Despite this morning's temperature of 45 degrees, Mississippi summers are usually HOT and every southern belle must know the best ways to cool off and have fun.  This group of girls loves to have fun and enjoy the warm weather without overheating...  after all, its 2011, fainting is not seen as delicate any longer.

Not to mention, many of us don't get to summer in seaside...this batch of southern belles works hard. So over the next few days, we will be suggesting fun hot weather alternatives in Jackson or the surrounding areas.  Nothing like a mini-vacay for the day or an evening out with the girls. Just because we can't live at the beach doesn't mean we can't enjoy the summer.

So, today's stay cool, enjoy summer suggestions....

1. Sipping cocktails on outdoor patios

As long as its later in the evening or a porch or patio has umbrellas or fans, sitting outside can be a great way to enjoy the Hot Mississippi Summer.  Afterall, you can't avoid the heat, but you can enjoy it with a cool cocktail, umbrella and sundress. lounging on the porch at Babalu is so much better than sitting in the sun elsewhere.

Plus, for those of us with fulltime jobs, drinks and a chic restuarant patio feels like a dinner out on vacation...something about tan lines showing under a cocktail dress, pink noses, margaritas, and laughter on a deck makes me think of dinner at the beach.

Our  Top suggestions....

1. Babalu

We suggest you order a baba-rita, sangria, tableside guac and tacos (pork and fish are wonderful).  But you can't go wrong with anything on their menu of tapas and tacos.

2.  Burgers and Blues

Obviously we suggest beer and burgers...their menu is full of very unique burger styles. Plus, there is live music on the deck most nights.

3.  Que Sera Sera

Seafood, sandwiches, poboys and a drink...enjoy a casual night with friends in Fondren.

4. Walker's

If its your first time, stick to the classics- Redfish Ana and Crabcakes. Split a bottle of wine with your best friend or special someone and enjoy a slow paced evening at this charming restaurant in the historic Fondren neighborhood.

5. Kiefer's

We suggest beer, gyros, pita mozz's and cottage fries. This is the ultra casual summer saturday night...a good time for a cheap price.

6. Sal and Mookies

This is perfect for a large party. Sal and Mookies has some of the best pizza in town, not to mention a bar attached to the restaurant and an ice cream shop.  Order pizza and beer, then get a scoop of mint chocolate before heading to the bar for more cocktails with friends.

7. Pizza Shack

Very casual with lots of outdoor seating for pizza and beer.

2. Pool Days

Southern girls do pool days the right way.  Ice chests full of adult beverages, cold fruit, sandwhiches, and evern sometimes frozen cocktails and homemade ice cream.  After all, we are going for the beachy vacay theme.

What if you don't have a pool?  Find one.

Some sugegstions if you don't belong to a club:
1. Friend's family pools.  May people's parents have pools you can occasionally use or their parents have neighborhood pools.
2. gym memberships.  If you belong to a gym, often times you can pay for a pool membership or it may already be included. Check on the prices for bringing guests. 
3. Apartment complexes. Chances are, someone you know has pool at their apartment.

*If your friends are sweet enough to share their connections, offer to bring food or beverages. Here are some suggestions:

BY THE POOL COCKTAIL
- 1 oz melon liquor
-1 oz peach schnapps
-1 oz orange juice
-1 oz 7 up or sprite
-1 oz ice

Purchase an ice cream maker - this one is only 15 dollars!

You can't go wrong with watermelon!

If everyone pitches in-- finding a pool, making a summer playlist, bringing a cooler and a fun frozen drink or ice cream, you can have an in town resort pool day in no time.

Spring Cleaning

     So who out there likes to clean?

Really?  I am definitely not one of those people who loves to clean.  I am in my mid-twenties and have a maid if that gives you any clue as to how much I detest cleaning.  Anyway, I am ending one chapter in my life, and I am anxiously awaiting the next phase.  Guess what that means?  I have time to "re-organize my life".  What does reorganizing my life entail?

     For me, I am taking one task at a time.  Today, my task was to clean my desk.

Yes, you can actually see the desk without all the clutter now.  It has been a long time since I went through all my papers and documents.  It was empowering to throw away all the papers that were not needed anymore.  Yes, I am not a hoarder, because this would be a hoarder's nightmare throwing anything away.  It was like I was getting a clean slate.  The papers of the past were simply that, of the past.  It is amazing to see what you thought was extremely important four years ago has little if any significance now.  You can't change the past, but you have to move forward.  In moving forward, you have to make room for what is yet to come.  Also, I say invest in a paper shredder.

It allows you to destroy papers with sensitive information, like your account numbers, but it is also fun to use.  You can even pretend like you are your favorite character on The Office.  Who is yours?

Now, I actually have a desk to work from.  This is exciting, but we'll see how long it really lasts.  Anyway, I encourage you to look in your closets and desks.  Try some spring cleaning out for yourself.  It can do your body good.  Out with the inessentials and back to the necessities.  I'm sure I'll have more posts on my spring cleaning to come.  Happy cleaning!

Helpful tips from Women's Day on spring cleaning:
http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Topic/spring_cleaning_tips.html

The Guy Code for Calling

I was talking with a dear friend the other night about this crazy guy code.  She gave an example of two different guys who each had the same approach.

Guy Code: If you're interested in a girl, call her once and do not leave a message.  If she calls back, she's interested.  If she doesn't call back, well, good riddance to her.

I do not know about you, but this seems absurd.  I never answer phone numbers that I do not know.  I assume that if they really want to get in touch with me that they will leave a message.  Who knows if I have missed out on possible suitors or not.  I think that there needs to be some communication with the ladies and gentlemen.  Gentleman, call once and if no one answers, hang up.  Call back a few hours later and leave a message.  If the lady does not pick up on the first call, do NOT assume that she is not interested.  She is probably just being cautious about not talking to strangers.  For all you know, the call could have been dropped because she works in an area with they do not have cell service, like the basement of a hospital.  All I am saying, is guys please give a girl more than one call to decide if she's interested or not.  If you only put yourself out there for one call, you might be missing out on a great lady who WAS interested.  Circumstances did not all her to answer your first call, and everyone misses out.  Just some food for thought.